Lots of well-wishes and "goodbye's" today, even though I was barely around the parish for people to do so! I went to the food pantry in the morning, visited Mary Anne Kufner in the afternoon, and went to bingo in the evening. Anne wished me good luck, Darlis made sure the whole bingo hall gave me a round of applause of appreciation, and Marge and Krista gave me a card with a monetary gift, as well - I'll probably return the money if I get the chance tomorrow.
It's unbearably hot tonight (by my standards, anyway), so I'm gonna end this blog tonight - and forever - quickly and efficiently. Dear Lord, thank You for the summer of prayer and work that has brought me ever closer to You. May the memories I have, the friends I've made, and the love that You have shared with me through the people of this parish remain as a reminder to me of the unceasing and boundless love you have for me. May I always be an instrument of that love you share with the world through Your Son, Christ Jesus, who lives and reigns with You, Father, and the Holy Spirit, one God, FOREVER AND EVER, AMEN!
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Monday, July 27, 2009
Monday, July 27, 2009
A rather shocking amount of mail was delivered from the school to the rectory by yours truly; Marge, Christa, and Mrs. McCue are already preparing for the coming school year! I can't believe it's less than a month before the kids are all back; too bad I won't be around for the fun, as I'll be back in school, myself. GRRRRRRrrrrr...
Marge and Christa also somehow knew I was leaving this Wednesday. They thanked me for my help around the office and wished me well. It's so strange having to say "goodbye" to everyone! I wonder how the Bingo crowd will treat me tomorrow...
I went back to St. Peter's today and met a friend of mine who also happens to be one of my on-again, off-again followers of this blog! Tim, if you're reading this (is there any question that you eventually will?), thanks for your prayers and ESPECIALLY for your commentary! I'm glad that somebody is finding something worthwhile to glean from the records of my spiritual endeavors of the past summer!
Dinner tonight was truly something else; Anne tells me tomorrow's should be something even better. I ate so much that, for the first time in my tenure at St. Ben's, I was UNABLE to finish the dessert entree (brownie pie...YUM!). Fr. Beaven, whose dietary restrictions prevent him from eating such delectable decadent delicacies, was visibly longing that he could have finished off what I had left behind. Another cross for him to bear, I guess.
Lord, bless Fr. Beaven and all your priests, that they may be the "alter Christus" they have been ordained to be. Grant that I may, too, one day, join their ranks, if it is your will, that I may follow You forever in a particularly Christ-like way. Whatever your will is for my life, let me never be so anxious that I may overlook the gifts you have given to me or the people you have placed in my life to both aid me in my journey (and them in their own personal conversion) to You. Through Jesus, my Savior and best friend. Amen!
Marge and Christa also somehow knew I was leaving this Wednesday. They thanked me for my help around the office and wished me well. It's so strange having to say "goodbye" to everyone! I wonder how the Bingo crowd will treat me tomorrow...
I went back to St. Peter's today and met a friend of mine who also happens to be one of my on-again, off-again followers of this blog! Tim, if you're reading this (is there any question that you eventually will?), thanks for your prayers and ESPECIALLY for your commentary! I'm glad that somebody is finding something worthwhile to glean from the records of my spiritual endeavors of the past summer!
Dinner tonight was truly something else; Anne tells me tomorrow's should be something even better. I ate so much that, for the first time in my tenure at St. Ben's, I was UNABLE to finish the dessert entree (brownie pie...YUM!). Fr. Beaven, whose dietary restrictions prevent him from eating such delectable decadent delicacies, was visibly longing that he could have finished off what I had left behind. Another cross for him to bear, I guess.
Lord, bless Fr. Beaven and all your priests, that they may be the "alter Christus" they have been ordained to be. Grant that I may, too, one day, join their ranks, if it is your will, that I may follow You forever in a particularly Christ-like way. Whatever your will is for my life, let me never be so anxious that I may overlook the gifts you have given to me or the people you have placed in my life to both aid me in my journey (and them in their own personal conversion) to You. Through Jesus, my Savior and best friend. Amen!
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Well, today was my last Sunday at St. Ben's, and looks like it somehow got leaked to everyone in the parish, as a parishioner I never met before greeted me after mass thanking me for everything I had done over the summer. Very gratifying, but also kinda frightening. How the heck do these people figure these things out so fast? Deacon Phil, Rahul, and
Lunch with Kyle, Bernie, Luciano, Anne (a parishioner I hadn't met until today, but one with whom I had delightful conversations with). I also met Levi, Luciano's friend and roommate, who is, wouldn't you know, quite the accomplished vocalist. I got something of a headache after lunch, so Luciano dropped me off at St. Ben's at about 4-ish. I managed to get in about 45 min. - 1 hr. worth of sleep, but I'm still feeling a bit "out of it."
Anyhoo, news blurb of the day: apparently someone at the high school here is trying to get the rights for the students to perform "Chicago."
And I thought Notre Dame/Obama was scandalous.
In all seriousness, I hope THAT rumor, if it's true, spreads faster than the news of my imminent departure from St. Ben's. The high school here, low on enrollment and funds as it is, does not need a stunt like this to attract negative attention. How about putting on a play that actually reflects the integrity of a Catholic institution? It's pretty clear that a play condoning murder, prostitution, and other evils that even secular society finds abhorrent is NOT something Catholic teenagers should be performing.
Jesus, don't let my pride overcome my love for you. AMEN!
Lunch with Kyle, Bernie, Luciano, Anne (a parishioner I hadn't met until today, but one with whom I had delightful conversations with). I also met Levi, Luciano's friend and roommate, who is, wouldn't you know, quite the accomplished vocalist. I got something of a headache after lunch, so Luciano dropped me off at St. Ben's at about 4-ish. I managed to get in about 45 min. - 1 hr. worth of sleep, but I'm still feeling a bit "out of it."
Anyhoo, news blurb of the day: apparently someone at the high school here is trying to get the rights for the students to perform "Chicago."
And I thought Notre Dame/Obama was scandalous.
In all seriousness, I hope THAT rumor, if it's true, spreads faster than the news of my imminent departure from St. Ben's. The high school here, low on enrollment and funds as it is, does not need a stunt like this to attract negative attention. How about putting on a play that actually reflects the integrity of a Catholic institution? It's pretty clear that a play condoning murder, prostitution, and other evils that even secular society finds abhorrent is NOT something Catholic teenagers should be performing.
Jesus, don't let my pride overcome my love for you. AMEN!
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Slow week, to be sure. Confession at St. Peter's was wonderful, though I fear (should I really "fear" meeting the Lord in the Sacrament of Confession, or any Sacrament for that matter?) I may have to visit sooner rather than later.
I'm actually quite positive my necessary visit has something to do with the lack of work I've had. Even with a funeral this week, there's something about lonely rectory living that fosters sin, especially sins of impurity. I've written before about how I couldn't understand how the priests here managed to do it; even without the danger of sin, loneliness is, well, LONELY. As an introvert, I appreciate my "alone time," but the amount of time Fr. Beaven and Fr. Steve spend/spent alone here shocked me! When you add the danger of sin to mix, well...not cool. NOT cool!
Anyway, beyond that lovely little anecdote/reflection, I've been doing the normal routine of praying, reading, working, and playing. Hard to believe that as of this coming Monday I will have been at St. Ben's for 11 weeks! Incredible! I remember telling Luciano and the choir members that I was moving out on Wednesday. They seemed genuinely sad that I was leaving! Hopefully it's not patronizing; just like Anne, the rectory cook, they also asked if I'd show up on the odd Sunday here or there. Naturally, I said yes, as I have EVERY intention of coming back to St. Ben's in the future, both near and far.
Pray for me, everyone! I need it, especially as this internship (and, consequentially, this blog) comes to its end...as all things inevitably do, in God's good time. Lord, protect me! AMEN!
I'm actually quite positive my necessary visit has something to do with the lack of work I've had. Even with a funeral this week, there's something about lonely rectory living that fosters sin, especially sins of impurity. I've written before about how I couldn't understand how the priests here managed to do it; even without the danger of sin, loneliness is, well, LONELY. As an introvert, I appreciate my "alone time," but the amount of time Fr. Beaven and Fr. Steve spend/spent alone here shocked me! When you add the danger of sin to mix, well...not cool. NOT cool!
Anyway, beyond that lovely little anecdote/reflection, I've been doing the normal routine of praying, reading, working, and playing. Hard to believe that as of this coming Monday I will have been at St. Ben's for 11 weeks! Incredible! I remember telling Luciano and the choir members that I was moving out on Wednesday. They seemed genuinely sad that I was leaving! Hopefully it's not patronizing; just like Anne, the rectory cook, they also asked if I'd show up on the odd Sunday here or there. Naturally, I said yes, as I have EVERY intention of coming back to St. Ben's in the future, both near and far.
Pray for me, everyone! I need it, especially as this internship (and, consequentially, this blog) comes to its end...as all things inevitably do, in God's good time. Lord, protect me! AMEN!
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Pretty much the opposite of yesterday. Busy, busy, busy. I pushed myself to the food pantry to find a food delivery of gargantuan proportions; Scott, the director of the pantry, said that he hadn't seen so much food in that little pantry in months.
As if the food shipment alone did discourage me (I DID NOT want to be around there past noon), I was put on "apple duty" - placing apples in wired baskets. Sounds easy enough, but it wasn't long before the apples were tumbling out of the baskets onto the floor (the baskets were placed in an slightly inverted position, so I had to be careful not to overstock them all). I'd estimate that this went on for a good hour; thank God that other volunteers showed up (including two St. Ben's parishioners: one regular morning mass attendee, as well as another frequent Bingo-goer). Despite my own incompetence and the colossal amounts of food, we finished shelving everything by 20 to 12! A new record!
I had made an appointment with Mary Anne Kufner for about 2 PM, so I got myself a little hydration and finished off that dratted final paper for this internship. Glad to have that off my chest!
Mary Anne Kufner was all smiles today, as usual. Though initially I was a little more impatient than I should have been, at some point things kinda picked up and we had another illuminating conversation about God that I really can't hope to summarize in this blog, either in one entry or in a series of entries. Suffice it to say that I am glad I have her praying for me. I actually was nearly in tears when I left; she gave me a little book of "minute meditations" from the Popes (PERFECT for me and my 2-second attention span that is just too typical for my generation!). She even told me about a special way to get a plenary indulgence: on your birthday, pray the meditation in the booklet that is listed for the date of your baptism. Beautiful. And if that wasn't enough, she gave me $10 and told me to say my first mass for her (I then asked for her label-maker so that I could put a sticker on the Hamilton to remind me what it was for!). God willing...I will do exactly that. Now, to actually make it through the next 6 years of seminary...
Dinner was fantastic, as usual; the brownies I had for dessert made me nostalgic for the "Mr. Schuman" brownies every Quigley student knows so well. :) To top it off, I finally made up my mind to go to Bingo after a quick e-mail exchange - and it turns out I was needed tonight more than ever! God works in mysterious ways, indeed, indeed. If I manage to make it to adoration tomorrow, I might something more insightful to say on that topic. For now, though, Lord, just guide me through the dark night to the morning light. AMEN
As if the food shipment alone did discourage me (I DID NOT want to be around there past noon), I was put on "apple duty" - placing apples in wired baskets. Sounds easy enough, but it wasn't long before the apples were tumbling out of the baskets onto the floor (the baskets were placed in an slightly inverted position, so I had to be careful not to overstock them all). I'd estimate that this went on for a good hour; thank God that other volunteers showed up (including two St. Ben's parishioners: one regular morning mass attendee, as well as another frequent Bingo-goer). Despite my own incompetence and the colossal amounts of food, we finished shelving everything by 20 to 12! A new record!
I had made an appointment with Mary Anne Kufner for about 2 PM, so I got myself a little hydration and finished off that dratted final paper for this internship. Glad to have that off my chest!
Mary Anne Kufner was all smiles today, as usual. Though initially I was a little more impatient than I should have been, at some point things kinda picked up and we had another illuminating conversation about God that I really can't hope to summarize in this blog, either in one entry or in a series of entries. Suffice it to say that I am glad I have her praying for me. I actually was nearly in tears when I left; she gave me a little book of "minute meditations" from the Popes (PERFECT for me and my 2-second attention span that is just too typical for my generation!). She even told me about a special way to get a plenary indulgence: on your birthday, pray the meditation in the booklet that is listed for the date of your baptism. Beautiful. And if that wasn't enough, she gave me $10 and told me to say my first mass for her (I then asked for her label-maker so that I could put a sticker on the Hamilton to remind me what it was for!). God willing...I will do exactly that. Now, to actually make it through the next 6 years of seminary...
Dinner was fantastic, as usual; the brownies I had for dessert made me nostalgic for the "Mr. Schuman" brownies every Quigley student knows so well. :) To top it off, I finally made up my mind to go to Bingo after a quick e-mail exchange - and it turns out I was needed tonight more than ever! God works in mysterious ways, indeed, indeed. If I manage to make it to adoration tomorrow, I might something more insightful to say on that topic. For now, though, Lord, just guide me through the dark night to the morning light. AMEN
Monday, July 20, 2009
Monday, July 20, 2009
SLOW Monday. Mass @ 8:30, as usual, but knowing full well that absolutely nothing was happening anywhere around the parish today, I decided to have breakfast at McDonald's (which is also conveniently close to a Gamestop where I could pick up a birthday present for my brother, Martin, whose birthday is in just two weeks!). Sadly, I overspent, overate, and bought myself a game along with my brother's gift; I was determined to avoid all three of those little temptations, so I was a little disheartened to say the least. On the other hand, I have yet to play video games today; I spent the rest of the morning and the early afternoon writing a paper for school (and doing a little too much web-surfing, though less than I usually do when I've got homework on my hands!), and I spent the early afternoon reading. I did my usual "holy hour" during the Hour of Mercy, and I spent some time in the evening working a bit more on my paper, since there's no meeting tonight to speak of. I DID have the intention of speaking to Steven, the St. Benedict high school's very own receptionist (and son of the Protestant maintenance man!), but as Providence would have it, I spent a good chunk of time talking to Ann, the cook. More theology/social commentary from both of us. Sadly, I wasn't able to talk to Steven before he left, but alas, as the Jesuits say, Ad majorem Dei gloriam. All things for the greater glory of God. ALWAYS!
Tomorrow should be a little more lively if only because of my evening plans; either I go to bingo (as per my usual routine), or I accept Kyle's invite to go to St. MAry of the Angels for an evening of recollection. I actually like the latter idea more, and I don't think the folks at Bingo truly need me there, but I can't help but wonder that I'm doing too much of the "recollection" type of prayer as it is. I spend quite a bit of time in prayer and spiritual reading, but very little in ministry now that things have slowed down so much (though, on the other hand, with the food pantry being open tomorrow, I'll at least have recourse to that in the morning). Fr. Ted Ross told us seminarians on our retreat in January that we risk losing our faith if we don't exercise it. He told us the story of a young Jesuit who, despite spending hours in prayer, was beginning to suffer severe doubts about the Divinity of Christ. The solution? "Go volunteer with the Little Sisters of the poor." Problem solved.
So what was the problem there (and here with me right now)? Faith is, as the great Mark Shea says, incarnational. Faith without works is dead. Whatever happened to Jesus' commandment at the ascension to "go out to the all the world," and all the jazz? Maybe if I spent a little more time in true sacrificial ministry, I'd learn a little more about the authentic meaning of the priesthood in the process.
On the other hand, I've done bingo for just about every week I've been here; most of the time I'm either chit-chatting or handing out prize money. It's not that I dislike it or even resent it, it's just that it's completely familiar territory where "sacrificial ministry" is there in a rather vague sense.
It's all in God's hands, though. That's the number one thing I gotta keep in mind as my internship draws to a close. He died for me, rose from the dead, and is in in heaven eternally. Why the heck am I worried about petty little decisions like this?
Dear Lord, may my hope in You never waver. AMEN!
Tomorrow should be a little more lively if only because of my evening plans; either I go to bingo (as per my usual routine), or I accept Kyle's invite to go to St. MAry of the Angels for an evening of recollection. I actually like the latter idea more, and I don't think the folks at Bingo truly need me there, but I can't help but wonder that I'm doing too much of the "recollection" type of prayer as it is. I spend quite a bit of time in prayer and spiritual reading, but very little in ministry now that things have slowed down so much (though, on the other hand, with the food pantry being open tomorrow, I'll at least have recourse to that in the morning). Fr. Ted Ross told us seminarians on our retreat in January that we risk losing our faith if we don't exercise it. He told us the story of a young Jesuit who, despite spending hours in prayer, was beginning to suffer severe doubts about the Divinity of Christ. The solution? "Go volunteer with the Little Sisters of the poor." Problem solved.
So what was the problem there (and here with me right now)? Faith is, as the great Mark Shea says, incarnational. Faith without works is dead. Whatever happened to Jesus' commandment at the ascension to "go out to the all the world," and all the jazz? Maybe if I spent a little more time in true sacrificial ministry, I'd learn a little more about the authentic meaning of the priesthood in the process.
On the other hand, I've done bingo for just about every week I've been here; most of the time I'm either chit-chatting or handing out prize money. It's not that I dislike it or even resent it, it's just that it's completely familiar territory where "sacrificial ministry" is there in a rather vague sense.
It's all in God's hands, though. That's the number one thing I gotta keep in mind as my internship draws to a close. He died for me, rose from the dead, and is in in heaven eternally. Why the heck am I worried about petty little decisions like this?
Dear Lord, may my hope in You never waver. AMEN!
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Well, it was the usual Sunday, minus me actually serving a mass for a change. I gotta admit, I KINDA only did it because I didn't want to sing (we had a visiting choir member who just kinda...overshadowed me, I guess?) and with no servers in sight, I figured I might as well put that cassock and dirty surplus to good use. Oh, and it was used, all right: one of the buttons fell off when I was putting it away after mass, meaning that I'll have to bring it to the tailor's as well as the dry cleaners' now.
I had a good breakfast with Luciano, a nice chat with Deacon Phil, and a fairly prayerful afternoon. My initial dissatisfaction with Fr. Beaven's homily (using the gospel as an excuse to tell people to "relax" seems a bit farfetched, don't you?) reached its peak when Fr. Jim from St. Mary of the Lake giving a similar homily at the 6:30 RCYA mass; after struggling with scrupulosity all afternoon during prayer (should I or should I not go to Laboure House? Have I spent too much of the Lord's Day glorifying myself on Xbox LIVE rather than glorifying God? Should I write that e-mail, or should it wait?) well, I was about ready to wring the necks of both of them.
Then it hit me: I'm a spiritual "prayer-aholic." In my quest to make sure that I'm thoroughly detached from all worldly things, I've forgotten that some good ol' fashioned R&R is what's prescribed as part of the 3rd Commandment. Instead of saying an additional Divine Mercy Chaplet, I went over to the tabernacle and just...sat there. I think it's exactly what I needed.
Sometimes I think I take St. Paul's admonition to "stay sober and alert" to be an excuse to think I can "climb a spiritual stepladder of good deeds" to heaven. This is, obviously, contrary to Catholic teaching (and exactly the kind of false work-based soteriology that Protestants accuse Catholics of believing all the time). Bored as I am right now (it's just about 9:00 PM as I type this), it is, at the very least, a good thing if I've got time to spare, especially on a Sunday afternoon. All the more time to quietly and peacefully give to God the glory and the honor and the power he rightly and justly deserves. To Him, the only One who actually deserves to be identified with such magnanimous adjectives - To Him be honor, glory, and power forever and ever. AMEN! St. Benedict, ORA PRO NOBIS!
I had a good breakfast with Luciano, a nice chat with Deacon Phil, and a fairly prayerful afternoon. My initial dissatisfaction with Fr. Beaven's homily (using the gospel as an excuse to tell people to "relax" seems a bit farfetched, don't you?) reached its peak when Fr. Jim from St. Mary of the Lake giving a similar homily at the 6:30 RCYA mass; after struggling with scrupulosity all afternoon during prayer (should I or should I not go to Laboure House? Have I spent too much of the Lord's Day glorifying myself on Xbox LIVE rather than glorifying God? Should I write that e-mail, or should it wait?) well, I was about ready to wring the necks of both of them.
Then it hit me: I'm a spiritual "prayer-aholic." In my quest to make sure that I'm thoroughly detached from all worldly things, I've forgotten that some good ol' fashioned R&R is what's prescribed as part of the 3rd Commandment. Instead of saying an additional Divine Mercy Chaplet, I went over to the tabernacle and just...sat there. I think it's exactly what I needed.
Sometimes I think I take St. Paul's admonition to "stay sober and alert" to be an excuse to think I can "climb a spiritual stepladder of good deeds" to heaven. This is, obviously, contrary to Catholic teaching (and exactly the kind of false work-based soteriology that Protestants accuse Catholics of believing all the time). Bored as I am right now (it's just about 9:00 PM as I type this), it is, at the very least, a good thing if I've got time to spare, especially on a Sunday afternoon. All the more time to quietly and peacefully give to God the glory and the honor and the power he rightly and justly deserves. To Him, the only One who actually deserves to be identified with such magnanimous adjectives - To Him be honor, glory, and power forever and ever. AMEN! St. Benedict, ORA PRO NOBIS!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
