So Friday was technically my last day of paid internship here at St. Ben's, meaning that I could move out and screw around for the rest of summer without any repurcussions. Knowing that I have absolutely nothing worthwhile planned for the rest of the summer, though, and knowing full well that St. Ben's (maybe just rectory living in general?) keeps me on my toes, spiritually speaking, I'm sticking it out for another two weeks. Fr. Beaven has given his approval, so I'm good to go!
Didn't write an entry for Thursday, obviously, which really is inexcusable. Apologies for shirking that duty, everyone. Today's entry will cover a bit of that day AND today - how's that for compensation?
The thing is, I don't really have much to say about Thursday; I did my first Communion Service (think Mass without any consecration/orans prayer positions and/or gestures), and despite my attempts to keep myself calm throughout the duration of the service, the organist at the nursing home told me multiple times to "keep me cool." Best advice a Lutheran has ever given me!
Friday was my day off, and, as usual, being away from the rectory made me realize just how much I depend upon easy access to the Blessed Sacrament for my prayer life. Whether it's my brothers begging me to play video games or my dad asking for help around the house, I find precious little time to pray during my days off, and I usually oversleep to the point where I miss daily mass, too. At least I didn't forget to say the Liturgy of the Hours!
Today was slightly busier, though, with another Committal in the late morning and the usual 5:00PM mass in the evening. I talked with John Eckhardt again; turns out my hunch wasn't far off; not only is he from a Protestant background, he's STILL Protestant. He DID, however, mention that his son, Christopher (who I had given a Quigley Scholars brochure at 8th grade graduation in May), was certainly someone who would at least give the program a look-see, as it were. W00T! Praised be Jesus Christ, now and forever!
Luciano was busy tonight, so I've been at the rectory by myself for the evening; no "night on the town" this weekend, I'm afraid. Ces't le vi. Talking to the Extraordinary Ministers of Holy Communion after mass was a delightful and enlightening experience I probably wouldn't have had otherwise, anyway.
Dear Lord, may allmy days be filled with Your finest blessings as You see fit to grant them. Feed me with Your Son's body and blood all the days of my life so that I may only rely on Your love. May the Eucharist, the foretaste of heaven, guide me to You in heaven one day. AMEN!
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Got back to St. Ben's at about 10:00 AM this morning - it was just enough time to shower and get on the "black" to don my cassock in the sacristy later. The funeral today was scheduled for 10:30AM, meaning that I didn't have much time to dilly-dally; as it turned out, I was ready with enough time to spare, but I misheard Mike O'Malley and Fr. Egan (the visiting priest who was saying the funeral mass) in the sacristy; I thought they had both lectors and cantors with them, and alas, Luciano was caught all by his lonesome for the opening song. I managed to cantor for the rest of the mass, though Fr. Egan needed my help come communion time. Not a problem, of course, but I still wish I had managed to clear this stuff ahead of time. I don't do well with surprises.
As it turned out, the committal was a wash; the burial isn't until next week (?!?!?!), so I was free immediately following the mass. I did some reading, praying, and some video gaming in the afternoon, and after dinner (Anne really outdid herself tonight with the mac and cheese! YUM!), I had managed to drag myself away from my Xbox long enough to check out what I THOUGHT was a Theology on Tap session in the high school. Alas, I got caught by Draydyne along the way, and before I knew it, I was unlocking the church for a visiting Ohio family (and a very devout one at that! They asked me if I knew any Toledo seminarians! Matthew Frisbee, if you are reading this, Tammy says hi!). It turns out there wasn't any Theology on Tap tonight, anyway, so I guess I'll chalk up tonight as another example of God's little ways of grace working in and through the minutiae of day-to-day living. With my first "official" communion service tomorrow (here's hoping the scripture reflection I wrote does the job!), I'll need to catch up on the sleep I missed last night (Harry Potter is worth missing sleep over, but getting only 4.5 hours or so just doesn't cut it for the this 20 year-old seminarian). I did have plans to play a bit of HALO online with some friends, but perhaps that should wait...
Dear Father, don't let me forsake you in the name of convenience, "fun," or anything else I do or happen across in my life. Let my every action proclaim your glory forever and ever. AMEN!
As it turned out, the committal was a wash; the burial isn't until next week (?!?!?!), so I was free immediately following the mass. I did some reading, praying, and some video gaming in the afternoon, and after dinner (Anne really outdid herself tonight with the mac and cheese! YUM!), I had managed to drag myself away from my Xbox long enough to check out what I THOUGHT was a Theology on Tap session in the high school. Alas, I got caught by Draydyne along the way, and before I knew it, I was unlocking the church for a visiting Ohio family (and a very devout one at that! They asked me if I knew any Toledo seminarians! Matthew Frisbee, if you are reading this, Tammy says hi!). It turns out there wasn't any Theology on Tap tonight, anyway, so I guess I'll chalk up tonight as another example of God's little ways of grace working in and through the minutiae of day-to-day living. With my first "official" communion service tomorrow (here's hoping the scripture reflection I wrote does the job!), I'll need to catch up on the sleep I missed last night (Harry Potter is worth missing sleep over, but getting only 4.5 hours or so just doesn't cut it for the this 20 year-old seminarian). I did have plans to play a bit of HALO online with some friends, but perhaps that should wait...
Dear Father, don't let me forsake you in the name of convenience, "fun," or anything else I do or happen across in my life. Let my every action proclaim your glory forever and ever. AMEN!
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
So I woke up late (again), in part because I was tired/lazy, and in part because I knew the funeral and committal immediately following wouldn't demand that I be ready to go by my usual 7:15 AM rise-and-shine routine. Instead, I basically did what Idid on Sunday: sleep in till about 10 to 8, then shower, make the bed, have breakfast, say morning prayer/Office, etc. Despite what I thought would be more than ample time to get ready for the day ahead (I had a communion visit with Mary Anne Kufner after the committal today), I STILL had barely enough time to vest into my cassock and surplus. Fr. Beaven wanted me to lector, and Luciano wanted me to cantor. All of it came so quickly! Under different circumstances I probably would've wanted to duck out and run away!
By the grace of God, I got through the mass without a hitch, and the committal went as well as could be expected (as usual, my cassock and collar led the attendees to call me "Father" after the ceremony - makes me wonder if I'm getting too close to the whole "impediment to orders" thing). To top it off, my cassock REALLY needs to get to the dry-cleaners; there's a nasty stain on it, and the thought of doing another committal tomorrow is really kind of off-putting. I skipped out on the lunch the funeral party offered (I didn't want to go under any circumstance, but it helped to have a decent excuse) to take some time to change and clean it a bit; I went to good ol' Chicago Joe's for lunch, then went to visit Mary Anne Kufner for her weekly time with the Lord. She wanted some help with her computer, too - I'm not much with that kinda "techy" stuff, but I did try my utmost to get that darned USB drive to work. Ah well.
It was after 4PM by the time I got back, so my usual 3PM holy hour was delayed a bit; since I didn't bother to try to get into the church or chapel, I nearly fell asleep in the middle of my rosary. Note to any and all aspirant prayer warriors: stick to your scheduled prayer commitments as much as possible. It doesn't help to make things "easier" on yourself by skimping on your daily time with Christ; au contraire, it just means you'll have a harder time doing everything else. I found that out when I tried to check my e-mail after dinner. It quickly turned into blogging/facebooking, news reading, and everything else. Fortunately I ran downstairs in time (after realizing I wa 30 minutes late for bingo) to see Fr. Steve (AGAIN!). We chatted with Anne, the rectory cook, for a good 30 minutes. Anne and I also had a nice chat about various topics (including theology! Hooray! I have someone else besides John and Kyle to talk theology with!); I'm glad she's had the gumption to broach the subject. I like to talk about it, I really do!
Bingo was fun, but Harry Potter tonight should be even better (3 1/2 stars in the Trib, for anyone who cares about the reviews)! Midnight debuts are not exactly my kinda thang, but I'll make an exemption for Harry Potter, especially considering I'll be able to meet up with some Loyola friends who are eager (I think?) to hear what's going on at St. Benedict. Pray for me everyone!
O God, I am heartfully sorry for having offended you, and I detest all my sins, because of your just punishments, But most of all, because I have offended you, my God, who are all good and deserving of ALL my love. I firmly resolve, with the help of Your grace, to avoid the near occasion of sin. AMEN!
By the grace of God, I got through the mass without a hitch, and the committal went as well as could be expected (as usual, my cassock and collar led the attendees to call me "Father" after the ceremony - makes me wonder if I'm getting too close to the whole "impediment to orders" thing). To top it off, my cassock REALLY needs to get to the dry-cleaners; there's a nasty stain on it, and the thought of doing another committal tomorrow is really kind of off-putting. I skipped out on the lunch the funeral party offered (I didn't want to go under any circumstance, but it helped to have a decent excuse) to take some time to change and clean it a bit; I went to good ol' Chicago Joe's for lunch, then went to visit Mary Anne Kufner for her weekly time with the Lord. She wanted some help with her computer, too - I'm not much with that kinda "techy" stuff, but I did try my utmost to get that darned USB drive to work. Ah well.
It was after 4PM by the time I got back, so my usual 3PM holy hour was delayed a bit; since I didn't bother to try to get into the church or chapel, I nearly fell asleep in the middle of my rosary. Note to any and all aspirant prayer warriors: stick to your scheduled prayer commitments as much as possible. It doesn't help to make things "easier" on yourself by skimping on your daily time with Christ; au contraire, it just means you'll have a harder time doing everything else. I found that out when I tried to check my e-mail after dinner. It quickly turned into blogging/facebooking, news reading, and everything else. Fortunately I ran downstairs in time (after realizing I wa 30 minutes late for bingo) to see Fr. Steve (AGAIN!). We chatted with Anne, the rectory cook, for a good 30 minutes. Anne and I also had a nice chat about various topics (including theology! Hooray! I have someone else besides John and Kyle to talk theology with!); I'm glad she's had the gumption to broach the subject. I like to talk about it, I really do!
Bingo was fun, but Harry Potter tonight should be even better (3 1/2 stars in the Trib, for anyone who cares about the reviews)! Midnight debuts are not exactly my kinda thang, but I'll make an exemption for Harry Potter, especially considering I'll be able to meet up with some Loyola friends who are eager (I think?) to hear what's going on at St. Benedict. Pray for me everyone!
O God, I am heartfully sorry for having offended you, and I detest all my sins, because of your just punishments, But most of all, because I have offended you, my God, who are all good and deserving of ALL my love. I firmly resolve, with the help of Your grace, to avoid the near occasion of sin. AMEN!
Monday, July 13, 2009
Monday, July 13, 2009
Well, today was fairly uneventful. In fact, if it weren't for the fact that I spent so much time writing up a reflection for a communion service I'm doing at a nursing home come Friday, I wouldn't have done much minstry-related activities at all. I saw Alex, a discerning young man at the parish who wants to start a religious community (After meeting him at Benfest, I told him that he's free to talk to me after mass or contact me at the rectory. Neither happened today, which is fine. I just hope he wasn't planning to talk to me only to have me disappear before he was finished praying!)
I also talked to John Eckhardt, one of the maintenance guys over here at St. Ben's (we've got quite a few of 'em here on the block!). He's always happy to entertain philosophical and theological conversations; today we had a short but sweet follow-up talk about death and purgatory (we spoke about soteriology briefly at Benfest). I get the sense that John is of a protestant background; I here little "hints" of sola scriptura and sola fide whenever I talk to him. I may ask him about that before I leave in the coming weeks.
I still can't believe my internship is over this week! It feels all at once like I just started yesterday AND as if I've been here my whole life. I'm glad Fr. Beaven's letting me stick around for a couple of extra weeks; I'll appreciate the "cool-down" after the tumultuous schedule I'm in for these coming days (two more gravesite committals and a communion service, not to mention a visit to a homebound parishioner!). Pray for me, everyone! I need it!
On a side note, I finally set up Xbox LIVE today! It works perfectly well with the St. Ben's wifi network, for which I am, needless to say, quite grateful. Only problem? Even with the prayer and fasting and working I did before I started, I STILL found myself thoroughly frustrated when my playtime was interrupted by a phone call and then later by dinner. Heck, one of the reasons I'm writing this entry earlier than usual is so that I can spend some time perusing through the confines of the Xbox LIVE community(ies)...perhaps it should be foregone for some spiritual reading instead. Then again, I only get the Gold membership for LIVE for so long without a fee...St. Isidore, pray for me! All you saints in heaven, pray for me! All you members of the church militant and church triumphant, pray for me! Mary, mother of God and mother of the church, pray for me! AMEN!
I also talked to John Eckhardt, one of the maintenance guys over here at St. Ben's (we've got quite a few of 'em here on the block!). He's always happy to entertain philosophical and theological conversations; today we had a short but sweet follow-up talk about death and purgatory (we spoke about soteriology briefly at Benfest). I get the sense that John is of a protestant background; I here little "hints" of sola scriptura and sola fide whenever I talk to him. I may ask him about that before I leave in the coming weeks.
I still can't believe my internship is over this week! It feels all at once like I just started yesterday AND as if I've been here my whole life. I'm glad Fr. Beaven's letting me stick around for a couple of extra weeks; I'll appreciate the "cool-down" after the tumultuous schedule I'm in for these coming days (two more gravesite committals and a communion service, not to mention a visit to a homebound parishioner!). Pray for me, everyone! I need it!
On a side note, I finally set up Xbox LIVE today! It works perfectly well with the St. Ben's wifi network, for which I am, needless to say, quite grateful. Only problem? Even with the prayer and fasting and working I did before I started, I STILL found myself thoroughly frustrated when my playtime was interrupted by a phone call and then later by dinner. Heck, one of the reasons I'm writing this entry earlier than usual is so that I can spend some time perusing through the confines of the Xbox LIVE community(ies)...perhaps it should be foregone for some spiritual reading instead. Then again, I only get the Gold membership for LIVE for so long without a fee...St. Isidore, pray for me! All you saints in heaven, pray for me! All you members of the church militant and church triumphant, pray for me! Mary, mother of God and mother of the church, pray for me! AMEN!
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Sunday, July 12, 2009
I'm tempted to make this entry the "Discernment Diary: Post-Benfest Edition" post, but after all the kerfuffel and craziness (both organizational and spiritual!), I doubt I could really type something that could adequately describe the various goings-on of those two days. I did manage to write a bit in a private journal, so I'm content with knowing that I did everything my class obligates me to do. Ces't le vi.
I woke up at 7:50 or so today and didn't get to mass until the closing song...or rather, right before it, where a pro-life missionary from Crossroads was giving a quick talk. I couldn't believe that I didn't know they were coming beforehand...it happened to coincide with the parish sparechange/baby bottle collection fundraiser for WomenCare, so they picked a good day. Holy Spirit in action, anyone? I think so. I made sure to write a prayer intention or two in their prayer journal they use as they trek across America as pro-life witnesses. More spiritual support for priests and seminarians (including yours truly, O Lord!) incoming! And just in time for the year of the priest, too! w00t!
Coming back from retreat and Benfest left me without my usual access to internet, news commentary, video games, etc. I managed to catch up a bit on that this afternoon, but I deliberately held off on it until after I had spent the afternoon over at Luciano's to see 4 Months, 3 Weeks, and 2 Days, a Romanian film (and a critically lauded one at that!) that depicts...abortion. In retrospect, that was quite the "theme" of today for me. Shame I binged on pizza at the Ravenswood Catholic social after the 6:30 mass today...but I did get to chat with Kyle, and, as I told him I would, his blog is *officially* added to my blogroll. I will not lie in saying that I very much hope he does the same. MY worry? That he's the first St. Ben's parishioner to come across this blog. There's stuff in here about him and many others that...well, let's just say it's probably not the kind of stuff I'd say out loud outside of a fairly private setting. I do my best to keep this blog as if it WERE a diary (as impossible as that is both practically and "spiritually," for lack of a better term). The mission of this blog is as stated, and I hope it accomplishes just that. God Bless everyone who reads this blog, and, as Fr. Beaven said today in his homily, may it, like all things, work to bring God glory. AMEN!
I woke up at 7:50 or so today and didn't get to mass until the closing song...or rather, right before it, where a pro-life missionary from Crossroads was giving a quick talk. I couldn't believe that I didn't know they were coming beforehand...it happened to coincide with the parish sparechange/baby bottle collection fundraiser for WomenCare, so they picked a good day. Holy Spirit in action, anyone? I think so. I made sure to write a prayer intention or two in their prayer journal they use as they trek across America as pro-life witnesses. More spiritual support for priests and seminarians (including yours truly, O Lord!) incoming! And just in time for the year of the priest, too! w00t!
Coming back from retreat and Benfest left me without my usual access to internet, news commentary, video games, etc. I managed to catch up a bit on that this afternoon, but I deliberately held off on it until after I had spent the afternoon over at Luciano's to see 4 Months, 3 Weeks, and 2 Days, a Romanian film (and a critically lauded one at that!) that depicts...abortion. In retrospect, that was quite the "theme" of today for me. Shame I binged on pizza at the Ravenswood Catholic social after the 6:30 mass today...but I did get to chat with Kyle, and, as I told him I would, his blog is *officially* added to my blogroll. I will not lie in saying that I very much hope he does the same. MY worry? That he's the first St. Ben's parishioner to come across this blog. There's stuff in here about him and many others that...well, let's just say it's probably not the kind of stuff I'd say out loud outside of a fairly private setting. I do my best to keep this blog as if it WERE a diary (as impossible as that is both practically and "spiritually," for lack of a better term). The mission of this blog is as stated, and I hope it accomplishes just that. God Bless everyone who reads this blog, and, as Fr. Beaven said today in his homily, may it, like all things, work to bring God glory. AMEN!
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Food pantry was BUSY today! I'm surprised that I got out of there by 10 after 12! I though I'd be in there until 1 or later!
Lots of people at the pantry, too, most of whom area jobless and are looking for something to do. A few instances arose where my humility was tested, too, but obviosuly, that's all for the better. I managed to extend my holy hour a bit, too. All for the greater glory of God!
Bingo was particularly tiresome today. I fear that my "fast" prior to the retreat is demonstrating to others just how addicted I am to the comforts of life; I think I'm suffering withdrawal from games, the internet, news, something...maybe all three. It's strange, because I've gone without all three for long stretches of time before, without any noticeable "withdrawal" side-effects. It's especially strange considering all the extra sleep I got last night...or does that have something to do with it?
Dear Lord, may I always do what you want, when you want, because you want it. Grant me peace in doing this and everlasting joy as my eternal reward. May my retreat during the coming few days be filled with your abundant blessings. Through Christ, my Lord, AMEN!
Lots of people at the pantry, too, most of whom area jobless and are looking for something to do. A few instances arose where my humility was tested, too, but obviosuly, that's all for the better. I managed to extend my holy hour a bit, too. All for the greater glory of God!
Bingo was particularly tiresome today. I fear that my "fast" prior to the retreat is demonstrating to others just how addicted I am to the comforts of life; I think I'm suffering withdrawal from games, the internet, news, something...maybe all three. It's strange, because I've gone without all three for long stretches of time before, without any noticeable "withdrawal" side-effects. It's especially strange considering all the extra sleep I got last night...or does that have something to do with it?
Dear Lord, may I always do what you want, when you want, because you want it. Grant me peace in doing this and everlasting joy as my eternal reward. May my retreat during the coming few days be filled with your abundant blessings. Through Christ, my Lord, AMEN!
Monday, July 6, 2009
Monday, July 6, 2009
Benfest meeting tonight; there's no "calm before the storm" here, folks, that's for sure. I talked to Mrs. Marge this morning about the volunteer situation; she was confident that she had someone scheduled for nearly every shift. That is NOT the impression I got at tonight's meeting, and I'm only disappointed that I couldn't be of more help to Draydyne and the others whoare pulling their hair out trying to sort this out. Deacon Phil asked if I was learning anything (Fr. Beaven wasn't at the meeting tonight). I'm learning how to NOT freak out, NOT run meetings, and NOT stress (thanks Carla!). To top it off, Fr. Steve STILL isn't moved out of here yet. Incredible!
This morning I had a short talk with Fr. Beaven about the EMHCs purifying sacred vessels. This quickly led to him divulging his other opinions about liturgy and other church teachings (here's a hint, without being too calumnous: he's not all that "hardcore" about church teaching on burying people in the ground). At least Celeste was pleased to have actually made it to mass.
I made it to Gamestop AGAIN today; the wireless adapter is finally mine! Now, if only I could find time to set it up...not likely, given the situation of this week (retreat + Benfest). We'll see.
I spent most of the day working on my talk/presentation for the retreat, though I did manage to visit Mary Anne Kufner again. After all the meditation I did yesterday, I wasn't going to let this opportunity slide me by! Too many good things come out of these visits to simply neglect them!
I ate dinner alone at the rectory for the first time tonight. Anne made some great pasta, though, as always.
Dear Lord, help me to only do what You want and need me to do throughout the course of the day. Let me not become proud and arrogant over having accomplished many things throughout the day, but let my weakness be Your strength. Give me courage, grant me wisdom, and above all, bestow upon me a loving heart so that I may be that which You created me to be. AMEN!
This morning I had a short talk with Fr. Beaven about the EMHCs purifying sacred vessels. This quickly led to him divulging his other opinions about liturgy and other church teachings (here's a hint, without being too calumnous: he's not all that "hardcore" about church teaching on burying people in the ground). At least Celeste was pleased to have actually made it to mass.
I made it to Gamestop AGAIN today; the wireless adapter is finally mine! Now, if only I could find time to set it up...not likely, given the situation of this week (retreat + Benfest). We'll see.
I spent most of the day working on my talk/presentation for the retreat, though I did manage to visit Mary Anne Kufner again. After all the meditation I did yesterday, I wasn't going to let this opportunity slide me by! Too many good things come out of these visits to simply neglect them!
I ate dinner alone at the rectory for the first time tonight. Anne made some great pasta, though, as always.
Dear Lord, help me to only do what You want and need me to do throughout the course of the day. Let me not become proud and arrogant over having accomplished many things throughout the day, but let my weakness be Your strength. Give me courage, grant me wisdom, and above all, bestow upon me a loving heart so that I may be that which You created me to be. AMEN!
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